


People Throw Rocks at Things That Shine

by Nadja_Lee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Assault, Assertive Jace Wayland, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Bullying, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominating Jace Wayland, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Dates, Fluff, Gossip, Happy Ending, Healing, Homophobia, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Past Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Possessive Jace Wayland, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Jace Wayland, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Sacrificing Alec Lightwood, Sex, Smut, Telepathic Bond, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Jace Wayland, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: Alec grows up thinking he will never be good enough for Jace; that being his parabatai is all he will ever be. As the years go by Alec goes from being considered Jace’s weakness, not good enough to be his parabatai, to Alec defending Jace when everyone thinks he is Valentine’s son. Then, when it becomes clear Jace is a Herondale, Alec is back to fighting discrimination and scorn alone.When Magnus breaks up with him over the Soul Sword and Jace returns from Lake Lyn things between them start to change as Jace finally sees Alec’s struggle and the purity of his love and devotion for him.Goes AU at the end of season 2 as in Magnus and Alec never get back together after Magnus leaves him over the Soul Sword episode and Clary and Jace doesn’t get together after Lake Lyn.Some angst, hurt/comfort and a whole lot of fluff and romance. With a side serving of sex. Have fun!
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 24
Kudos: 913
Collections: Jalec, Malace 101





	1. Throwing Rocks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miss_Shiva_Adler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Shiva_Adler/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec fell in love with Jace from the start but Jace doesn't see him at all. Alec is left fighting his own battles against his inner demons and idiotic Shadowhunters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame someone for this! And apparently I picked two people to "blame"; e.g. who encouraged me to write more Jalec! So hope you enjoy this one. Sorry that it got long.  
> Thanks to Cindy for betaing this even though she's not into Jalec then she is ok with mine and that says a lot so thank you!  
> Thanks so much for the great art to Regina.  
> Chapter warnings: Bullying, homophobia, self-esteem issues, assault.

**Read chapter notes for warnings and all the tags.**

# Chapter 1: Throwing Rocks

_"People throw rocks at things that shine. And life makes love look hard. The stakes are high, the water's rough. But this love is ours." (Taylor Swift - Ours)_

When Jace had arrived to stay with the Lightwoods Alec had fallen for him at once. The younger boy was everything he wasn’t; strong, confident and daredevish. He did what he wanted and didn’t care about the rest. He was himself and proudly so. Alec was 12 at the time and admired the then 10-year-old Jace for that – maybe even more than he admired him for his fighting skills. Feeling sorry that Jace had lost his father Alec had made it his mission to make Jace’s life living with his family as easy as possible. Not that Jace needed much help. Where his parents had nothing but scorn towards him, they loved Jace from day one. Jace’s warrior skills were unmatched and he could easily beat people twice his age. That combined with his charming nature and easy smile had him as the favorite of Alicante within weeks.

As the years passed Alec looked up to Jace as everyone else did. He was like a sun, like water in the desert. Nothing existed, nothing moved, without him there. It was as if he brought the light and colors into a room; without him everything seemed dull and grey. In fact, Alec’s whole life seemed colorless without Jace in it. It was as if before Jace he had just been surviving; with Jace in his life, there was life.

It had been Jace who had first breached the topic of them becoming parabatai. Alec had not even dared hope for anything more than friendship from him. Parabatai was a lifelong bonding, a binding of the souls, a commitment in many ways akin to marriage but maybe even more powerful than that. Alec couldn’t really understand why Jace would pick him when he could have picked literally anyone.

As he had gotten older Alec had known he loved Jace; completely. There was absolutely nothing he would not do for him. He also knew he could never have him. If his parents, the Clave and the general bigotry in Idris hadn’t made that clear for him then the fact that Jace seemed to have been surrounded by beautiful girls constantly, something he clearly enjoyed, made it painfully clear to Alec he would never have Jace as he longed to; that he would never know that kind of happiness. Being Jace’s parabatai was as close to happiness as he would ever come. It would be excruciating in so many ways to be close to Jace like this but never be what he wanted them to be but he would take whatever he could get from Jace – no matter the cost to himself. He had long ago stopped caring about the cost for himself when it came to Jace. No one noticed him in a room and hence he never even noticed himself.

A few days after his parabatai ceremony Alec had still been feeling almost euphoric at having just this part of Jace. It was painful at times to feel him and yet not really feel him but it was enough. He told himself this would be enough. It would last him a lifetime; it had to. It was all he would ever get. Alec had been in the bathroom in one of the changing rooms at the New York Institute, having just finished an early morning training session when he had overheard two young Shadowhunters who had just entered to change clothes before going training together. Alec had not really been paying attention to them until one of them mentioned Jace by name. The name made him freeze and listen closely, standing still, almost afraid to breathe.

“Can you believe he chose Lightwood for his parabatai when he could have had anyone?” One of the Shadowhunters said with an air of disbelief.

Alec didn’t recognize him from his voice but the words stung, echoing his own doubts and fears. Everyone knew then. Everyone knew he hadn’t been good enough for Jace. He felt a familiar pain in his stomach and a dull ache in his heart.

“Yeah. An archer!” The other Shadowhunter snorted with contempt.

Alec rolled his eyes at hearing that, not recognizing this man either. He knew that there in general was little respect for archers; the close combat weapons were seen as being braver and more impressive choices. He had heard remarks like that since he had chosen the bow as his weapon and was used to the skill not commanding the same respect as hand-to-hand weapons. Jace, of course, had blades as his favorite weapons; a perfect choice for a warrior who was already so idolized.

“I know,” The first Shadowhunter agreed with disbelief.

“Ridiculous,” The other man agreed.

“He likely just did it out of pity. He does owe the family. Makes them look good by him doing this for the boy,” The first Shadowhunter commented thoughtfully, with a hint of pity.

“Yes, of course. He would do something like that,” The second Shadowhunter agreed as the men walked out of the changing room together, admiration for Jace at what he clearly considered a huge sacrifice clear in his voice – a parabatai bond was for life after all.

Alec took a few deep breaths, trying to stop the onslaught of panic he was feeling. It wasn’t helping much. He found himself slip to the floor of the bathroom stall and hugged his knees to his chest, angrily wiping tears from his eyes, hyperventilating. After a few minutes he managed to get his breathing back under control. Of course, Jace had done it because he had thought of paying back his parents for their generosity through the years. It wasn’t because he felt Alec was the best choice as his parabatai overall; he was the convenient choice. Oh, he knew Jace liked him just fine but then he kinda had to. They were living under the same roof. They were very different people; Jace was as light as he was dark. Alec spent his days alone reading, practicing or studying. Everything came easy to Jace and he therefore had a lighter approach to things; he didn’t overthink things or get overly attached or worried like Alec always did.

Alec forced himself back up on his feet. So what that Jace had chosen him because he felt he should? He was still his parabatai. He had still made that choice. Alec would just have to ensure Jace would never regret it. He would prove to him he could be the best parabatai there was, so Jace would never regret his decision. He might not have been the best choice, the strongest warrior, Jace could have chosen but he would prove to Jace that he was the most devoted and loyal and maybe that would make up for some of his other shortcomings. Alec took a deep breath and left the changing room, determined to prove himself and prove his worth in this as in all things in his life. Prove, once again, over and over, that he was worthy of this.

Time passed but nothing much really changed. Jace had only grown more perfect in Alec’s mind – and even more unobtainable. Self-doubt and feeling inadequate was his constant companions but one touch from Jace, one of his brilliant smiles and Alec had the strength to get through another day.

Then everything had changed when **she** had arrived. Clary. Turning their world upside down and though he had never had Jace it felt like she took him from him. It wasn’t her fault but Alec hated her for it. He knew logically he should be hating Jace for running after her like a lost puppy but he could never hate Jace so he hated Clary.

Then to confuse him further Magnus had showed up. Magnus was everything he wasn’t and yet also everything Jace wasn’t. Jace was a warrior, like masculinity bottled. Magnus was all teasing, soft, experienced and very proudly bisexual. He made it clear he wanted him. No one had ever wanted him before; he had not even been kissed before. Maybe that was a key reason for his fascination with Magnus; he had never been seen before. He had never been noticed before. It was scary. Yet…nice. Scary nice.

And then he had kissed Magnus at the wedding, his own statement, his own rebellion – the first rebellion he had ever done in his life. And wouldn’t you believe the Clave and his parents would have him pay dearly for it yet he didn’t regret coming out no matter what they did to him. He was finally free to admit to himself he was gay. It was liberating. Still lonely, cold and isolating but at least now he was true to himself.

Alec did feel it was unfair to Magnus when shortly thereafter Jace went with Valentine, supposingly his father now, and the Clave declared him a traitor over Alec’s loud and repeated protests. It didn’t help his case that him coming out as gay had weakened any power position he had once had significantly. He had to give the Clave their pound of flesh so the dishonor and humiliation of his very public coming out and ruined wedding could be moved past. Somewhat moved past at least. He wasn’t so stupid as to think Idris was suddenly any less homophobic than before. It simply served the Clave not to have him arrested and officially punished for his behavior as long as Valentine was on the loose. Alec didn’t mind the pain and humiliation the Clave demanded off him in payment for his, in their eyes, disgraceful coming out; as long as it could help Jace he would do anything.

Being separated from Jace was driving Alec insane, his body physically weakened by the separation. His temper was short and his tongue sharp. He had nearly bitten Magnus’ head off and he had now left and Alec just couldn’t deal with that right now. He needed Jace back! Now!

To try and cool off before he also exploded on the Clave representatives Alec had gone to train for an hour or so. He had been training for almost an hour, his hands bruised and bloody, the pain a wonderful distraction from his aching heart. He was using a punching bag hanging from the ceiling when a group of five young Shadowhunters entered. He recognized one of them; Mark. He was nice enough. They were not friends but they nodded to each other at meals and such and had been on a few hunts together.

“Ha! I always knew there was something off about him,” One of the Shadowhunters said with a disgusted and superior air.

Alec stiffened, trying to ignore him.

“Valentine’s son. I knew it,” another said as they stood opposite each other with large wooden sparring canes in their hands.

“He has probably always been spying on us for Valentine,” A third one suggested darkly as he and the two others went to pick up weapons to train with, choosing smaller black training batons.

Alec drew a deep breath as he heard them and just couldn’t keep ignoring them.

He walked over to the two men sparring and their three friends stopped opposite them.

“Don’t you guys have something more useful to do than gossip?” Alec asked them darkly, giving them all warning looks.

“What do you care?” One of them asked as all five stopped and looked at him with an almost suspicious look as if just defending Jace made him in league with Valentine too.

“Jace is my parabatai and I know he is loyal to Idris. It doesn’t matter who his father may or may not be!” Alec insisted hotly.

“Says you,” one of the men snorted, waving a dismissive hand at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alec asked annoyed, his eyes narrowing.

“You are likely only defending him because you fancy him,” One of the others supplied with a repulsed air.

Alec tried hard to hide the blush that came over his cheeks, hating that it was true, hating they had guessed his most guarded secret.

“What?! No!” Alec denied hotly.

“Of course you do,” One of the men said and pointed his sparring cane at Alec, moving it so it was now resting on Alec’s torso.

Alec hit it away with an angry hand but the man moved it back again.

“No, I….” Alec insisted, suddenly aware the others had formed a half circle around him. Alec cursed under his breath when he remembered his steele was in his pants.

“What? You what?” The Shadowhunter taunted, poking him with the sparring cane.

Alec’s anger flamed and he didn’t care that he was outnumbered.

“Back off!” Alec hissed, hitting the cane away again and giving them all warning looks, refusing to back away, suddenly also aware they all had weapons but he had none.

The five men drew closer to him, so close one of them got right up into his face.

“Or what? Don’t forget…we know you are an archer. Awfully hard to be an archer this close, isn’t it?” The man hissed, fisting his shirt.

Alec had been on the receiving end of a beating and been involved in fights plenty of times. This would be the former. While most people admired Jace for his skills, some were also jealous of him but none could match his abilities. They could therefore not take their frustrations out on him but they always take it out on his parabatai and hence Alec had learned well how to take a beating. Alec had never told anyone about it; feeling he would be weak if he did.

Knowing he wasn’t getting out of this Alec rolled his eyes and decided he was going out fighting because why the fuck not? He swung at the nearest guy and was smiling in satisfaction when he came into contact. He got a few more punches in before a rain of hits and kicks assaulted him, making him rise his hands above his head to protect himself. A hard kick to his right knee had him stumbling and a kick to his head sent him to the floor. He rolled up into a ball to try and protect himself and get away from the hits. He groaned with each hit but refused to cry out; they were not getting that satisfaction. It wasn’t like they would dare do permanent damage; he would just have to endure this and then fix it with some iratzes when they cleared out. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done that before.

“Don’t be too hard on the princess. He might break,” One of the men smirked at him.

Alec couldn’t see who was talking as he was covering his head with his arms but he still managed to yell out, “Fuck you!”

“Oh, you would like that, wouldn’t you?” Someone said darkly and kicked him in the stomach.

Alec fought to breathe, fighting back tears of pain.

“Actually, I would like to see my arrow pierce your heart!” Alec got out, his anger ensuring his voice was stronger than it otherwise would have been.

“Fucking queer!” One of the others spat and kicked him hard around his torso, taking Alec’s breath away and making a cracking noise Alec knew well.

“Ah!” Alec couldn’t help but yell as he felt several of his ribs break, his breathing becoming difficult.

“Shit! I think you broke his ribs there,” One of the men said, sounding a bit worried that they had gone this far. Suddenly that realization made the attack stop and Alec had time to try and breathe again.

“He will heal,” someone remarked while Alec fought to breathe.

“Remember this the next time you feel like voicing your opinion, fagot!” The man who had broken his ribs yelled down at him as he kicked him in the stomach.

“Fuck you!” Alec managed to get out, tears of pain on his cheeks but his anger was still burning bright as he fought to get to his feet.

“Shut up!” The guy demanded and kicked him again, hard, in the stomach, making Alec fall back down on the floor.

“Alec, stay down,” Mark advised, his voice holding a hint of worry.

“F….Fuck you!” Alec got out, gazing angrily at both Mark and the man who had kicked him. He didn’t need help like that; he pointedly fought to try and get back to his feet.

“This guy just doesn’t know when he has lost,” The same Shadowhunter said darkly as he kicked Alec again, sending him back to the floor, forcing a painful moan from Alec’s lips.

“Seriously, Alec. Stay down!” Mark hissed at him, worry and annoyance in his voice.

Before Alec could tell him how much he didn’t give a shit about his opinion another of the Shadowhunters spoke again, “Let’s use one of the other facilities to train.”

“Yeah. This one stinks,” Another of the Shadowhunters said, grinning darkly.

Mark gave Alec a concerned look as he followed the others out of the room.

Alec painfully got into a sitting position, his eyes shooting daggers at their backs as he yelled after them as loud as his broken ribs allowed, “You are just jealous Jace is ten times the Shadowhunter any of you will ever be!”

They didn’t respond but soon he was alone again. Alec sighed heavily as he painfully got to his feet and went to find his steele. At least he now had a better idea of what he could expect after he had come out. He had known his sexuality would be thrown in his face and used against him now; that was why he hadn’t come out before.

When he drew the iratzes and the pain disappeared his resolve returned. He could survive this. Between his parents and the Clave, a few homophobic Shadowhunters were easy to deal with. Relatively at least. Not that any of that mattered. What mattered was getting Jace back. That was all that mattered; that was all that would ever matter.

* * * *

Finally he had Jace back! He didn’t care that he almost died. Magnus seemed to care about that a great deal but he didn’t. Magnus didn’t understand what it was like; he had told Magnus he didn’t want to live without Jace and that Jace was all that mattered and he meant it. He was everything to him and he needed him like he needed air!

Then of course Aldertree had come and had arrested Jace. Alec had negotiated away everything he could and everything he had to sway the Clave to release Jace; apparently saving people didn’t really count for much with them. But Alec’s bargaining had worked, greatly aided by a well-timed attack, and Jace had been allowed to return to work. It was dawning on Alec that he had given his heart and soul to Jace, what he had left to Magnus and the rest of him was now owned by the Clave. He was fast running out of anything left to bargain with.

Alec’s thoughts were interrupted when he gained on two Shadowhunters walking down the same corridor as he was. He was exhausted, Jace had finally come back and he needed to just sleep. Tomorrow he owed it to Magnus to come by and then….he owed so much to so many. He was getting exhausted just thinking about it.

“So what do you think Lightwood had to give Aldertree to get his parabatai back?” One Shadowhunter asked the other curiously, unaware Alec was behind them.

Alec tensed. He was used to gossip by now, used to being talked about and having to ignore it. He was used to the jokes and the taunts. He had never told Magnus and Magnus had never asked what coming out had cost him. He had never told Jace because he had been through so much lately with Valentine. He hadn’t told Izzy because she would worry and besides; she had already almost gotten into trouble when she had hit someone for bad-mouthing him and he refused to have her sacrifice herself for him in any way.

“Aldertree is probably just lonely at night if you know what I mean,” The other Shadowhunter teased, winking. He shrugged as he added, “Why not use what’s on offer till something proper comes along?”

Alec rolled his eyes at them. He had long ago given up trying to convince homophobic types like these two that being gay didn’t mean wanting to have sex with every man and besides….there were few men he despised more than Aldertree.

“Well, whatever the deal he made was, it would have cost him a lot for Aldertree to allow Valentine’s son free reign here…in particular considering how powerful he is,” The other Shadowhunter admitted worried, more serious now.

Talking about him was one thing but talking poorly about Jace…no. That was not something Alec ever allowed! Alec quickly caught up with them, coming up on the side of the one who had just spoken. Both men gave him surprised looks, the one who had made the joke about Aldertree at least had the grace to look at bit embarrassed, clearly wondering if Alec had heard him.

“One more word about Jace and you are out!” Alec warned them both sharply, his voice like steel as he gave them both warning looks, making them all draw to a halt in the hallway.

“You have no authority for that!” One of the Shadowhunters protested.

“Believe me; I will find a way!” Alec gave back sharply, his voice dangerous and cutting.

“You are threatening me?” The Shadowhunter asked with disbelief and shock in his voice.

Alec shook his head.

“No. I am giving you a promise,” Alec said with deadly calm before he looked from one to the other and added, “Both of you; you badmouth Jace again and you are done!”

With that Alec briskly walked on, only a few meters from his room. He opened the door, looking forward to finally getting some sleep and almost gasped in surprise and horror at the sight that met him. His room had been ransacked; clothes everywhere, things destroyed. He walked a bit into his room and saw a note on the bed. He frowned as he went over and picked it up, in his surprise and shock forgetting to close his door.

Alec read the note with a feeling of loss and despair. It said, “The New York Institute has no space for demon-loving faggots! You love their kind so much; go live there. Shadowhunters are men; you are a disgrace to our race and to this institution!”

“What’s wrong, Lightwood? Your room seem rather….disorganized?” One of the two Shadowhunters Alec had reprimanded observed in a knowing and cruel voice as the two men stopped at the door, looking at the destroyed room.

Alec crumbled the note in his hand, taking deep breaths. He could deal with this. He was not letting them see how this was affecting him. He turned around to face them and plastered on a fake smile.

“Actually, I left it like this. I am redecorating. As you know us gay people do that a lot,” Alec said sarcastically, fully aware the two men had either been involved in this, known about it or at the very least were more than pleased to see it had happened.

“Did you want anything? Interior decorating advice perhaps?” Alec went on when both men looked dumbstruck at him, clearly not getting the cowered reaction from him they wanted.

“What?” One of the Shadowhunters asked in shock and surprise, unsure what else to say.

The other Shadowhunter shook his head and pulled him away with a hand on his arm as he said, “Let it go. Come on.”

Alec watched them go and went and closed the door, adding a silence and locking rune to his door to be on the safe side. For a moment he just stood in his destroyed room, fighting to breathe. Then the tears starting to run down his cheeks and he let himself fall onto the bed and beat into it with his fists. This would blow over. It was just because he was the first openly gay Shadowhunter. He had read Mundane history and knew things had been tough whenever there had been a change like this, be it based on race, gender, sexuality or anything else. It had taken time but things had gotten better. They would get better. He tried to repeat that. He tried to feel that, to take some comfort from that. Things would get better. It didn’t stop the tears, it didn’t stop the pain or the loneliness.

When he met Jace later and he asked if he was ok he said yes because he always said yes. When he went to see Magnus the next day Magnus asked if he had had a nice day and he said yes because he didn’t want him to worry.

The news had broken at the Institute, all across Idris actually, that Jace was actually the last Herondale. The family was influential beyond belief and held sway with the Clave and all the top leaders of Idris. Alec had never cared what last name Jace had but he felt great relief at knowing he was a Herondale. He was beyond reproach now. The world was his; nothing was out of his reach.

That morning at breakfast all Alec could hear were whispers about Jace from everyone and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes when he heard them because the very same people who had jumped on the bandwagon to mark Jace a traitor and Valentine’s son were now praising him to high Heavens - again.

Alec walked past the tables with his breakfast tray, spotting Jace and going towards him; Izzy and Clary there too. He could hear all the whispers as he walked by and fought to ignore them.

_“I always knew he was a Herondale!”_

_“He was always the best!”_

_“And pure angel blood…”_

_“He and Clarissa match well; both of pure blood. They will surely soon be together. It would be the new dream couple of Idris!”_

_“He will be the new head of the Institute. Maybe even High Inquisitor or something.”_

_“A shame he has to be dragged down by having Lightwood as a parabatai.”_

Alec stiffened when he heard his name mentioned. He had gotten used to being mentioned as Jace’s weakness before the whole Valentine thing and he had expected it to return now again and there it was.

_“Gay and dating a Downworlder and then **that** Downworlder.”_

_“Yes, one thing to be gay but to force it upon us like that…”_

_“Flaunting it like that….”_

_“Disgusting.”_

He must not have appeared as unaffected as he thought or Jace had picked something up from him through their bond because when Alec sat down Jace gave him a worried look.

“You alright?” Jace asked softly and Alec nodded.

He forced a smile as he replied, “Yes, Yes. Of course.”

Jace didn’t look like he believed him but then Clary was asking him something and he let it go, making Alec draw a relieved sigh at being let off the hook, a part of him wishing himself back to the days he had been invisible instead of a target. Then his resolve returned; he could endure this. Looking at Jace he couldn't help but smile. If he could endure having Jace so close and yet never having him then he could also survive whatever homophobic bullshit would come his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments mean so much to me so if you are enjoying this story please let me know. Or to rephrase that; I have a huge praise kink! Feed it and I will do more fics like this so win-win for us both if you are enjoying this type of stories ;)


	2. Shiny Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace defends Alec and notices him for the first time ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Bullying, mild sexual context with some very mild sexual teasing and power play. Like mild. Blink and you miss it thing. 
> 
> The sex is still in chapter 3 so move ahead if you are only here for that ;)

**Read chapter notes for chapter warnings**

# Chapter 2: Shiny Things

It had not been some good weeks for Alec to put it mildly. Magnus had left him because he hadn’t told him of the Soul Sword and no matter what Alec had done, how many times he had apologized, he had not been forgiven. He had never felt as inadequate and insecure as he did now. He had had someone who loved him. He had had that. And he had fucked it up.

He wasn’t good enough for Jace and he wasn’t good enough for Magnus. He wasn’t good enough for anyone or anything. He was starting to doubt why he kept fighting; what did being head of the Institute matter when he was alone? He had never cared for power; all he had ever wanted was to love and be loved in return. He had wanted that love with Jace and had had to realize that dream would never be his. He had then been given a chance with Magnus. Finally, someone had seen him. No one ever saw him. And he had lost that. No, he hadn’t lost it. He had fucked it up!

To make matters worse then when Jace and Clary had returned from Lake Lyn Jace had seemed changed; having nightmares and trouble sleeping. It had been three days since Lake Lyn and Jace still refused to acknowledge he had died. Alec wasn’t stupid. He knew what he had felt. He had felt the parabatai bond breaking, he had felt his rune fading. He had known then without a doubt that if Jace was dead he would follow him. Without Jace there was no life. He had told Magnus that when he had first met him and he had meant it.

Having Jace back was a miracle but a miracle he knew could only had happened one way; the Angel’s Wish. Alec had started to research it and had concluded that Jace’s sleeping problem was likely due to a darkness, a connection to the Hell dimensions. Everything between Heaven and Hell was scaled, balanced, so if Jace got his life back he had to pay something. This darkness tormenting his soul was clearly that price. The good news was that since everything balanced this darkness could also be banished if it was balanced out by a light, a Heavenly grace. Now of course Alec needed to figure out what precisely that meant so he could save Jace from himself even if he didn’t want to admit he needed saving!

Alec himself hadn’t slept much either since Magnus had left him, feeling devastated and depressed. That was now a month ago. Feeling Jace die three days ago and then return and Jace pretending nothing had happened…it had torn what had been left of Alec’s soul and heart to pieces. He had already been running on fumes, using his nourishment, stamina and endurance runes to ensure he could get through the days with basically no sleep or food, not able to do either. 

It was still early when Alec arrived for breakfast today and there were only a few people there. His face lit up despite his fatigue and lack of sleep when he saw Jace sitting alone. He frowned when he noticed he looked tired. He needed to study harder, work harder, to figure out how to solve this so he could save Jace.

A group of four Shadowhunters was sitting at the table before Jace’s and Alec could hear them talking when he passed them by.

“I can’t believe they made him head of the Institute,” One of the Shadowhunters said.

Alec kept walking and pretended not to hear him; he had heard it before. It had been sweet of Jace to hand him leadership but that was all people saw it for. That a Herondale had gifted it to him, because he was his parabatai. Not because he had earned it.

“He will be gone soon; mark my words,” One of the other Shadowhunters replied, looking Alec up and down as he walked past him.

Alec kept his eyes front, still pretending he couldn’t hear them.

“He seems to be hanging on no matter what anyone does,” The third Shadowhunter said with dismay and annoyance.

“You have to give him that; he’s tough,” The only female Shadowhunter at the table said then.

“What do you mean?” One of the others demanded to know.

“He barely sleeps – we have all seen him awake and about at all hours of the day - and everyone is on his case and yet he makes it work,” She said with something close to admiration in her voice.

Alec smiled to himself; at least not all thought he did nothing.

“Probably gets that Warlock to just use magic to fix it all for him,” One of the others snorted with disgust.

Alec mentally winced as he heard that; not only for being reminded of Magnus but hearing that despite working almost around the clock some people still thought he got everything handed to him.

“Alec,” Jace said with a smile as Alec seated himself across from him, putting down his tray of food and coffee.

“You ok?” Alec asked worried as he top a sip of his coffee and stabbed a bit at his food, again not really feeling hungry.

“Oh? Yeah. Just not sleeping so well,” Jace admitted as he took another sip of his coffee.

“I will find a solution; I promise,” Alec swore, giving his closest hand a brief and comforting squeeze.

“For what?” Jace lied, avoiding his eyes as he did so.

Alec sighed and rolled his eyes; seriously annoyed Jace didn’t just admit what had happened but fine! He would resolve this no matter what. While they had been talking so had the people at the table behind them, loud enough for Jace and Alec to have heard them despite their own conversation.

“Didn’t you hear?” The female Shadowhunter asked surprised.

“What?” The man demanded to know.

“The warlock left him,” The woman told him.

“Ha! Not even good enough for him then,” One of the other men said with an arrogant air. 

Alec winced at hearing that; the words echoed precisely what he himself felt. Jace noticed and frowned concerned, now actually paying attention to what the group was saying. He normally never even listened to what people talked about; not caring what people thought of him and he never had.

“He will break soon and give up. Then we will get a good leader; a proper leader,” The man who had spoken first said with confidence.

“Why do you think that?” The woman asked.

“Because I know people. People like him…they don’t do well without someone to fight for,” The man responded knowingly.

At this point in their conversation Jace had had enough and he rose, his eyes lighting up golden as he instinctively activated his angelic power in his rage.

“Ok, what the fuck is wrong with you people?!” Jace thundered, looking angrily at them, making the group fall silent in shock and surprise.

Alec quickly rose as well.

“Jace, don’t,” Alec said quietly, putting a hand on his nearest arm across the table. “It’s not worth it.”

Jace gave him a surprised look before he said firmly, “Alec, of course it’s worth it!”

Alec withdrew his hand and blushed slightly, unsure what to make of that comment.

Jace walked over to stand at the end of the table, looking at the four Shadowhunters, his eyes glowing in warning.

“You guys are idiots and if I ever hear you talk like that about Alec again I will beat you unconscious! Do you understand?!” Jace asked sharply, his tone menacing and dangerous.

Alec walked over to stand behind Jace, watching the four Shadowhunters cower before his parabatai with a certain level of satisfaction.

“I…We….we were just kidding,” One of the male Shadowhunters got out.

“Do that elsewhere!” Jace demanded angrily, his eyes ablaze.

“Don’t you guys have assignments?” Alec asked pointedly.

“Yes, Sir,” All the four Shadowhunters said in union and quickly rose and scrambled off.

“Jace, a word?” Alec asked with a smile but his tone was serious as he picked up his mostly untouched tray of food, putting Jace’s empty coffee cup on it too and started to walk out of the mess hall. Alec put the tray at table by the door to the mess hall and walked out of the room.

“Sorry, Alec but…” Jace said when he caught up with Alec and they were walking side by side down the corridor, no one in sight due to the early hour.

Alec stopped so he could look at his parabatai and said warmly but firmly, “Jace, thank you but I need to fight my own battles.”

Jace didn’t respond to that; there was no way he was going to promise Alec not to defend him.

“Are you ok?” Jace asked instead, noticing how drained he looked.

“Yes, fine,” Alec said, surprised by the question.

“You don’t look fine,” Jace pointed out.

“You don’t look so good either,” Alec pointed out dryly.

“I’m good,” Jace insisted stubbornly.

Alec rolled his eyes at him.

“Oh, me too,” Alec said with more than a hint of sarcasm as they were both aware the other was lying.

They started walking again and after a few seconds Jace asked concerned, “Are they always so mean?”

Alec shrugged before he said, “Sometimes they are worse.”

Jace stopped and put a hand on Alec’s arm, making him stop too.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jace asked concerned.

“Why?” Alec asked confused.

“I don’t know. So I could have helped,” Jace insisted, unsure what he would have done but he would have done something; he could at least have forced them into silence like the four at the mess hall.

“You should have heard some of the stuff they said about you when everyone thought you were Valentine’s son,” Alec revealed, shaking his head in disgust at the memory. “And now they can’t stop singing your praise again. Hypocrites!”

“You defended me,” Jace realized with a hint of awe and wonder.

“Of course,” Alec said matter of fact as if that was the most obvious thing in the world because to him it was.

“What happened?” Jace demanded to know, worried that Alec might have gotten into trouble for him.

Alec bit his lower lip, regretting he had said anything.

“Nothing,” he insisted.

“What happened, Alec?” Jace repeated, a bit more forceful this time.

Alec hesitated but seeing how determined Jace looked he gave in because at the end of the day he always gave Jace whatever he wanted.

“They were just jealous,” Alec told him.

Jace looked at him in disbelief.

“Jealous? Of me supposingly being the son of a mass murderer? Yeah, right,” Jace snorted as he shook his head at him.

“No, truly,” Alec insisted, nodding for emphasis.

Jace looked intensely at him, surprised to find that Alec was dead serious; he truly did believe if people talked poorly of him they were just jealous of him.

“Why would you even say that?” Jace asked surprised.

Alec hesitated but then said honestly, “I know you are better than me. You always were.”

“Alec!” Jace protested but he couldn’t help but bash in the unreserved adoration pouring from Alec’s eyes. Why had he never truly appreciated that before? This complete adoration? Why hadn’t he really paid attention to it before?

Alec shook his head as he insisted, “No, it’s true. You’re…perfection. The best Shadowhunter of our generation.”

Jace couldn’t help but smile at the praise he was so generously and unreservingly being showered in. It was making him feel almost high and for the first time since Lake Lyn he felt…light, happy – the darkness inside banished for a moment.

“Well, true but…” Jace started to say with a superior smirk.

“You are gold,” Alec said before he could stop himself, interrupting him.

“Gold?” Jace asked surprised but then smiled, liking the sound of that.

Alec blushed, unable to believe he had said it aloud but if it helped Jace feel more at peace it was ok to say, right?

“Yes. It’s like you shine. Like a sun,” Alec tried to explain, blushing at his own words, looking down, his voice soft and quiet as he replied.

“I didn’t know you were that poetic,” Jace admitted, grinning widely, feeling his whole being elevated by Alec’s warm affection.

“Sorry,” Alec mumbled, embarrassed, still looking down as he wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

Jace took a hand under his chin and tipped his head up until they were eye to eye again.

“No, go on. I like it,” Jace admitted with a gentleness that almost stole Alec’s breath.

Alec pulled free of Jace’s touch; it was all too much, too similar to what he had dreamed about, what he had wanted for years. He couldn’t do this.

“I said too much. I haven’t slept much and…” Alec said lamely, blushing, fighting to make up an excuse.

Jace moved closer to him, so close Alec could feel his breath on his cheek when he repeated, “Alec, say more.”

Alec briefly closed his eyes, feeling himself growing hard by how close Jace was standing and hoping Jace didn’t notice.

Alec shook his head as he whispered, “No.”

Jace’s eyes narrowed and before Alec knew what was happening Jace had moved them around and pressed Alec up against the nearest wall, a hand flat on the wall next to Alec’s face and his legs holding Alec’s between his. Jace bent towards him and Alec felt his heart rate spike and his arousal increase.

 _He won’t kiss me. That will never happen_ , Alec kept telling himself but he couldn’t stop wanting just that; thinking about just that, his eyes focused intensely on Jace’s lips.

“Alec….tell me more,” Jace demanded, his words a whispered caress against Alec’s cheek.

Alec sank, his throat suddenly dry.

“There…there’s nothing more to say,” Alec insisted as he licked his lips nervously.

“You have been defending my honor for how long?” Jace demanded to know, a hint of fondness, awe and amusement in his tone.

“Since we met but it wasn’t really necessary. Everyone loved you,” Alec told him honestly, unable to lie when Jace was staring so intensely at him, standing so close to him, his body warm and so close…so close. Always nearly there and never quite there.

“I am pretty lovely,” Jace agreed with a superior smirk.

His words made Alec roll his eyes at him, torn between wanting to hit him, **hard** , in frustration and worship him. Alec briefly wondered if this was what true worship was; always caught between total submission and complete despair.

“But I knew I was holding you back, dragging you down,” Alec admitted softly, pained, the words he had been holding back for years but had heard so many repeat to him stumbling out.

“Why would you think that?” Jace asked surprised.

“Everyone think so,” Alec said evenly, having long ago accepted the words as truth. “Even my parents think so. Someone like you choosing someone like me for your parabatai…”

“Why wouldn’t I choose you?” Jace insisted strongly, interrupting Alec’s nervous ramblings.

Alec looked away for a moment before looking Jace in the eyes as he admitted frankly, knowing it was true, “I was never the greatest warrior. I’m an archer.”

“And?” Jace prompted, not seeing the connection.´

Alec gave him a searching look, unsure if he was making fun of him or not but he seemed sincere in his puzzlement so he explained as if to a small child, “Archery is the least respected skill; you know that.”

Jace shook his head as he said frankly, strongly, “They are wrong.”

“Thank you but…” Alec insisted, thinking that Jace clearly wasn’t really paying attention.

“So why did you defend me?” Jace interrupted him, getting back to the topic they had started at when he saw he was not easily going to persuade Alec to see his skills as he saw them. “When everyone thought I was Valentine’s son and I defected. Why did you defend me?”

“You’re my parabatai,” Alec quickly said because he always said that. In his mind and heart whenever he wanted to say _I love you_ he would say instead _you’re my parabatai_.

Jace smiled at that but didn’t let him off the hook that easily, “I know but why?”

Alec was quiet for a few seconds, wondering what to say. The truth, that he was in love with him, always had been, always would be…yeah, that was not going to happen. He couldn’t say that. Jace deserved more than that; he deserved better from him. So instead he tried to find another explanation which was also true.

“People always throw rocks at things that shine,” Alec then said as explanation for his defense of him, quoting a book he knew they had both read.

Jace have him a puzzled look at the unusual answer but then asked, “That’s from a book, right?”

Alec nodded, “Yes.”

“What does it mean?” Jace asked curiously.

“It means people are jealous of perfection; of those better than them,” Alec explained.

Jace grinned widely at that as he smirked at Alec, liking the sound of that.

“Perfection, eh?” Jace asked softly with a wink.

Alec blushed and reminded himself that Jace was not flirting with him; he was just being Jace. He had to pull himself together!

“Yes,” Alec managed to get out, nodding.

“I like the sound of that,” Jace admitted, smiling warmly at him.

Alec snorted, trying to break the oddly romantic mood and retain a sense of balance, “I bet.”

Jace gave him an intense look that made Alec blush and look away. Jace put a hand on his chin and turned his face back to look at him. When he was Jace didn’t remove his hand but stroked his skin softly with his thumb, making Alec strangle a moan and fight his rising erection. 

“I never before noticed that you are rather pretty like this,” Jace said hoarsely, his gaze warm and appreciative as he looked at him.

“Oh. Eh, thanks,” Alec said shyly, feeling captivated by the faint leftover golden flare in Jace’s eyes, the softness in his gaze, his hand on his chin….

“You know, Alec, Magnus was an idiot to give you up,” Jace commented firmly, surely, as he removed his hand.

“Well…thanks I guess?” Alec said hesitantly, blushing a bit, feeling oddly moved by the comment.

“But I did lie to him so I deserved it,” Alec then said, his voice filled with self-hatred and discrimination.

Jace shook his head at him and stroked his cheek tenderly, making Alec look confused, shocked and slightly hopeful at him despite trying to strangle it.

“You are just too….” Jace said softly, warmly, his voice oddly close, his tone familiar and almost like a caress.

“Too what?” Alec asked breathlessly.

“Amazing,” Jace concluded with a warm smile.

Alec looked shocked at him, surprised at hearing him say that. _He doesn’t mean anything by it_ , he kept reminding himself but his heart was ever foolish and hopeful.

“Thank you,” Alec got it, blushing a deep red.

Jace stroked his cheek and leaned so close his breath was hot against Alec’s skin, his lips were inches from his, his eyes intense on him.

“What would you do if I kissed you?” Jace asked him softly, his words filled with warmth and his eyes reflecting heat and desire.

Alec thought he died when he heard those words; in fact maybe he was dead now. Then he shook his head to clear it; this didn’t mean what hewanted it to mean. It couldn’t.

“What?! Why would you ask that?!” Alec got out, fighting to strangle his hope and desire. He had dreamt of nothing else since he had met Jace than for him to kiss him. Having that dangled in front of him now…it was just cruel.

“Because I feel like doing it,” Jace said frankly, honestly.

“I….I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Alec got out, feeling his hopes dying.

Jace was just curious…or horny. Or both. His heart would not survive being Jace’s experiment; he couldn’t do that no matter how much his body wanted him to.

“Why not?” Jace challenged. “You clearly want it,” he added and moved a hand to Alec’s hipbone, not moving closer to his erection but making it very clear to Alec he was well aware he had been aroused for most of their conversation, trapped between the wall and Jace. 

Alec blushed at Jace’s touch but forced himself to look him in the eyes.

“You are not really interested in me and I ….” Alec got out but had to take a deep breath before he could continue, “I am not interested in a one night stand.”

“Who says it had to be that?” Jace asked seductively.

Alec’s breath quickened but he got it under control as he said frankly, “I know you, Jace.”

Alec was well aware that Jace had a sex life that could have rivalled Magnus’ and that he rarely had the same partner more than once and even if he did it was only ever for fun. Book club my ass; he was not becoming another conquest. It wasn’t pride holding him back; he had no pride when it came to Jace. It was pure survival. If he had Jace once and then never again he would die. He could endure now; having never had him, never known what it could have been like. He could not survive having held him and then lost him, seeing him every day and knowing he could never have that intimacy again.

Alec was surprised when his words made Jace smile at him, soft and warm.

“I know. I just realized how amazing that fact is; you know me. You know all about me. And you still think I walk on water,” Jace admitted, his tone filled with awe and tenderness.

Alec shook his head at him and then pushed against him, a hand on his chest, firm but not truly fighting him.

“Shoo,” Alec insisted, indicating with his head he wanted to be let free.

Jace smirked at him and shook his head, “No. Not until you promise you will give me a chance.”

Alec rolled his eyes at him as he insisted, “Get going, Jace.”

“No. Not till you promise to give me a chance,” Jace insisted strongly, not moving an inch, his eyes lighting up golden to indicate he was using his angelic powers to make it clear to Alec he was serious.

Alec hesitated, biting his lower lip nervously, torn between what his mind told him was the sensible thing to do and his heart’s deepest desires and longing. Finally, he gave in and promised, “Fine. I will think about it.”

“Good. Now, what’s the magic word?” Jace teased, grinning widely at his victory.

Alec rolled his eyes at him, hoping his fake annoyance would overshadow his desire and fondness at Jace’s persistence which he frankly couldn’t help but be flattered by.

“Seriously? What is this; kindergarten?”

“Alec, that’s not the magic word. What’s the magic word?” Jace persisted with a seductive smile, making a negative tut tut noise to indicate he wasn’t happy with Alec’s reply.

Alec rolled his eyes at him again; unsure if he found Jace’s behavior hot, endearing or annoying. What the Hell? He had nothing to lose.

“Please,” Alec said pointingly, blushing a bit as he said it as he realized he was getting **very** turned on by Jace’s display of power. He seriously needed to pull himself together!

Jace felt the word roll over him like liquid fire and smiled satisfied at his win.

“Fine. Because you said please,” Jace told him but before he moved away he bent down and kissed Alec’s cheek.

Alec put a hand to the cheek Jace had kissed and looked after him as he walked away. Jace had never kissed him before. He felt like his lip imprint was still on his skin. He had an odd desire to never wash that cheek again. It took several minutes before Alec started walking to his office, having stared dreamingly after Jace as he had disappeared, a silly smile on his lips and a hand to the cheek he had kissed.

Despite telling himself this meant nothing and nothing would come of this and he should forget it before he got even more heartache than the break with Magnus had caused him…it didn’t help. He was smiling all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and feedback would mean the world to me. Please? I am having daily talks with my dog and cat by now; I would love to hear from YOU instead so if you are enjoying the story please do let me know! :)


	3. Everything That Shines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date, love confessions and first time having sex. So basically fluff and smut. That's it ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Detailed oral and anal sex with some mild D/s elements. Telepathic abilities and fluff. So much fluff!

# Chapter 3: Everything That Shines

The next evening Alec had gotten a mysterious fire message from Jace asking him to meet him at a Mundane restaurant downtown called _La Petite Maison_ and dress appropriately. Puzzled Alec had found some dark jeans and a black tunic before going to the restaurant. He had been surprised to say the least when a waiter had guided him to a table were Jace sat waiting. The restaurant was nice, very nice, kept in a modern atmosphere and with people fancily dressed and with white table clothes. He was unsure why Jace had wanted to meet here; it seemed more of a place Magnus would want to meet than Jace. His parabatai was normally more of a beer and informal setting kind of guy.

However, Alec didn’t complain when he saw Jace had dressed up too; black dress pants and a tight black shirt. He looked breathtaking. He rose when he saw Alec and smiled. He looked nervous. Why did he look nervous? Jace was never nervous and certainly never around him.

“Jace, what did you want to talk about?” Alec asked as soon as the waiter had led him to the table, indicating the restaurant, them.

“You look…amazing,” Jace said with admiration in his voice as he looked him up and down, making Alec blush and tug down on his shirt.

“You’ve seen this before,” Alec mumbled a bit shyly, referencing his outfit; Jace had never looked at him like that before.

“I never appreciated it before,” Jace admitted.

“Thank you,” Alec got out, flustered by his words.

 _Pull yourself together, Alec. This means nothing_ , he kept telling his hopeful heart.

Just as Alec was about to pull out his chair to sit down Jace seemed to spring into action, shaken from his daydream.

“Here, let me,” Jace said gallantly and pulled out his chair for him.

Alec gave him a surprised look, taken back by the gesture.

“Ah….Thank you,” he got out as he sat down.

Jace just smiled and then sat down across from him, looking intensely at him with a soft look.

“Ok, what is going on here?” Alec asked puzzled.

“So hmm….Clary and Simon told me this was a great place to come,” Jace said, again sounding nervous. “Do you like it?”

“Oh, yes,” Alec got out, unsure how to take all of this. Had Jace invited him here for him? Because he would like it even if it wasn't really a place Jace would normally come? That was....really sweet actually. Why would he do that?

Unsure what else to do or say Alec started to scan the menu card.

“What do you want?” Jace asked after a few seconds of both of them looking at the menus.

“Ah….I am not sure,” Alec admitted. He had tried some of the French dishes on the menu card with Magnus but not all. However, he had over time started to enjoy cooking and to try new and different dishes. Though, the menu didn’t look like Jace’s kind of thing at all; he always said he preferred a good beer and a big steak. What in the world was going on?

“Choose anything you like,” Jace told him with a smile just as the waiter came over.

“What can I get you?” The waiter asked as soon as she came over.

“A beer," Jace replied, pointing to one on the menu card. "And he will have…” Jace went on, looking at Alec questioning.

“Red wine,” Alec offered, having never really taken to beer though he could drink it. His first thought had been a cocktail as he had learned to like some after Magnus had made them but it was too soon after their break-up for that; it would remind him too much of what had happened so he went with wine.

“What kind? We have these by glass,” the waiter asked, flipping his menu to the page that showed wine by glass.

“That one,” Alec said after a few seconds of thought, pointing to one and showing it to her.

“Very good,” the waiter said. “I will be back for your orders later.”

The dinner was wonderful and Alec enjoyed the different new dishes he had chosen. Jace had chosen the closest to steak he could find on the menu, making Alec even more sure he had picked this place for his sake. They had talked a bit about different things, discovering they had drifted a bit apart after Jace had been focused on Clary and Alec had been busy with Magnus.

Jace explained how he had realized that even though Clary wasn’t his sister he no longer had romantic feelings for her but loved her as a sister. Alec on his part explained more about Magnus and that he would likely always have a special place in his heart for the Warlock, the first person who had ever really seen him, who had made him take that step to come out and be himself. However, even though they had a working relationship now and, over time, Alec hoped they would also become close friends again, the hurt between them, the divide, was too wide and Alec had reached the same conclusion that Magnus had; that it was a divide they couldn’t breach. The breakup was still painful but Alec was healing and moving on.

Alec had been a bit worried about money but Jace had wanted them to go all in so they had also had dessert, coffee and digestif after the meal. Jace had insisted on paying for it all, which, moneywise, Alec had to admit he was grateful for because his parents had cut him off financially after he had come out and though he tried to get back into somewhat speaking terms with them he wasn’t quite there yet. He had an income as head of the institute but it didn’t allow for fancy meals and going all out like this very often.

However, Jace paying made it feel even more like a date. It was nice; Magnus had loved to spoil him and take him out too. It made him feel special and valued. But when Jace did it then it also felt a bit painful and bittersweet because surely it wasn’t a date for Jace. Was it? He likely just wanted to reconnect now that they were both single.

After the meal, Jace had suggested they walk back to the Institute and had steered them through the park. The weather was mild, the stars were shining and the moon was bright. It was romantic. Surely, Jace had not meant for this to be romantic.

“Ok, Jace, what is going on here?” Alec asked curiously, confused, giving his parabatai an intense look when they were almost back at the Institute.

“What do you mean?” Jace asked innocently.

“The dinner. You clearly picked that place for me. And now we are taking the scenic route back to the Institute,” Alec clarified.

Jace shrugged and looked put on the spot.

“I….I wanted to impress you,” Jace admitted, looking a bit shy and hesitant at admitting that.

Alec gave him a surprised look.

“Impress me? Why?” He asked, dumbstruck, silently thinking he was plenty impressed with Jace already; he really didn't need to do much in that regard although he was really flattered he apparently wanted to.

Jace grinned widely, seductively at him as he asked, “Why do you think?”

The look of warmth and heat in Jace’s eyes made Alec’s stomach do flip-flops but he fought it down.

“I don’t know,” Alec insisted, blushing a bit, trying to strangle those hopeful feelings he was starting to get.

“Because I want you obviously,” Jace said easily as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Alec sank, caught between Heaven and Hell. It was all he had ever wanted to hear but he knew Jace didn’t mean it the same way he did; he never had.

“Jace…I…” Alec started to say, keeping his voice low as they had now reached the Institute. Given the hour there were only a few guards and a handful of people in the operations room but all the same.

When they were in the hallway wherein Alec and Jace had their rooms, side by side, Jace looked back behind him to ensure they were alone before he replied. They were.

“Alec, I want, **want** you,” Jace insisted, his eyes glowing golden for a second with his heightened emotions.

Alec almost groaned at the emotional pain at hearing him say that.

“Jace, I can’t do one night stands with you. I told you,” Alec reminded him, forcing the words out and ignoring how his body was betraying him at the very idea of being intimate with Jace - one night stand or not.

“I don’t want a one night stand,” Jace told him seriously.

Alec wasn’t sure how to understand that; surely he didn’t mean….

“You are not gay,” Alec got out, his protests getting weaker by the moment.

“No,” Jace confirmed with a grin and Alec felt like someone had thrown cold water on him laced with acid.

“I’m not straight either,” Jace assured him and gave him a seductive wink.

And the sun was shining on Alec again at hearing those words and he couldn’t help but smile shyly back. He felt hope start to grow but fought to control it.

“What does that mean?” Alec asked hesitantly.

“It means I don’t care what race or gender someone is; if I fancy them then I fancy them,” Jace said matter of fact.

Alec couldn’t help but smile at that; that meant there was hope and….No! Just because Jace could fancy him, sexually, didn’t mean he wanted a relationship with him! And why should he? He wasn’t exactly a good candidate for that. Jace could do so much better.

“Back to problem number one which is I can’t do a one night stand with you,” Alec insisted as he reached his room and put a hand on the door handle. A part of his mind was screaming at him that wasn’t it better to just try? Just once…But if he did, he would regret it. He knew he loved Jace too much. Having had him once and only having him physically…he would not survive that no matter how much he had fantasized about sex with Jace since forever.

“I want more than a one night stand with you,” Jace insisted, so close behind him that his breath was warm against Alec’s neck.

Alec could feel his body react to Jace’s closeness and fought it down, fought to keep it together. He plastered on a nice smile and looked at Jace over his shoulder as he opened the door to his room.

“Thank you for the dinner and the walk but I think it’s best….” Alec stammered, blushing, indicating he should go to bed.

Jace crossed his arms over his chest and gave him a superior smirk, seduction pouring from his eyes.

“Invite me in,” Jace drawled, his voice like honey over steel.

“What?” Alec asked surprised, having not expected that.

“Ask me to come with you into your room,” Jace insisted, his voice firm but soft, his eyes promising so much if Alec agreed.

“I….” Alec started to say. He should say no. This was a bad idea.

“Go on,” Jace insisted, having not moved but Alec felt as if he was closer to him now, makng it hard for him to think or even breathe.

Damnit! He could never say no to him, could he? What would it matter if he invited him in? Jace had been in his room before, a lot. Hell, he had even slept in his bed with him before and hadn’t that just been the sweetest and cruelest torture known to man?!

“Do you want to come in?” Alec heard himself say.

Jace grinned at his own victory and unfolded his arms as he walked past him into Alec’s room as if he owned the place, “Would love to.”

Alec was very much aware the room was just a bedroom with a desk and a chair and a connected bathroom.

“Ah….Ok,” Alec got out, flustered, as he closed the door.

Alec blushed even more when he saw Jace had sat down on the end of the bed. Of course he had sat down there; there was only one chair in the room. It meant nothing! It was just a bed….

“Lock the door, Alec, and come sit on the bed,” Jace ordered, his voice strong yet soft.

Alec almost sighed in relief at being told what to do. He felt so confused right now, his thoughts mumbled, his feelings all over the place.

“Ok, but I don’t think this is a good idea. I think we really should be grown-up about this and think it through and….” Alec rambled nervously as he secured the door and sat down on the bed next to Jace, unsure what to do with himself. He put his hands in his lap, folding them tightly, looking down.

“You talk too much,” Jace said strongly, fondly, as he put a hand on Alec’s chin and turned his face to him.

When Alec was looking at him Jace moved his hand to the back of his neck and pulled him close, making Alec’s hands instinctively come up and lay against his chest. Before Alec had time to think Jace claimed his lips.

Alec closed his eyes and moaned into the kiss, melting under it. It was everything he had ever thought kissing Jace would be like. He tasted of whiskey, coffee and spices and his kiss was filled with power and seduction, pride and need. It was perfect.

When Jace pulled back and moved his hand to rest on Alec’s cheek he smiled arrogantly, happily at him when Alec finally opened his eyes.

“I…wow!” Alec got out, mind blown, his brain mush, his body on fire with desire just from that one kiss.

“Best kiss ever?” Jace teased as he stroked his cheek tenderly, his voice both teasing and confident.

Alec was too out of it to do anything but be completely honest so he blushed a bit as he admitted, “Yeah.”

“I am thinking I can be the best at a lot of things for you,” Jace told him frankly but the desire in his eyes and voice wasn’t to be mistaken nor was the hand he put on his thigh that slowly moved further up until his hand was right by his hipbone and his fingertips were almost brushing against Alec’s growing erection.

“I am not sure….” Alec admitted, confused, finding it hard to keep saying no, to keep fighting what his body so desperately wanted.

“Alec, do you trust me?” Jace asked seriously, his eyes intense on his.

“Yes,” Alec said without hesitation.

“And you want me?” Jace went on.

Alec blushed and tried to turn away but Jace’s hand on his cheek went to his chin, keeping him facing him.

“I…” Alec got out, his voice dying out, unsure what to say.

“Answer me,” Jace demanded, his voice still soft but the order in it was clear.

“Yes,” Alec admitted hoarsely. “Yes, I do.”

Jace smiled widely, satisfied with his answer as he went back to stroking his cheek.

“Then do as I say,” Jace told him as if that was the easiest thing to ask for in the world and maybe it was.

“I…” Alec began again.

He did want this, he did trust Jace….but he loved Jace and Jace hadn’t spoken of love. This was a mistake. He would regret this. Oh, he was sure Jace was an amazing lover but would he survive knowing he loved him fully, completely, and Jace didn’t see him like that?

“Alec….stop thinking,” Jace demanded, his voice harder and stronger now, his eyes lighting up golden for a moment, his hand on his cheek now firmer.

Before Alec could reply Jace went on, his voice softer now, “When you think you stop us. So stop thinking and just let me take over for a while, OK?” 

“But…” Alec began again, blushing, flustered, not sure what to do, what to say. He wanted that; it sounded easy. He wanted to let go, to just feel for a moment, forget the world. But….was it possible? Was it a good idea? Would his heart survive that?

“I promise I will take good care of you. Okay?” Jace assured him, his voice strong and certain.

Alec felt himself drowning in Jace’s eyes and his promise. He just had to let go; Jace would take care of him now. He didn’t have to worry about tomorrow.

“Ye….yes,” Alec got out, his mouth suddenly dry.

“Good,” Jace cooed, smiling happily.

His smile made Alec smile back, unsure what to do now.

“Now, get on your knees,” Jace ordered.

Alec had been unsure if he would do it, if he could do it. Yet Jace had barely spoken before Alec was kneeling in front of the bed.

“Wow. You are good,” Jace got out as he rose and looked down at him, clearly almost as surprised by Alec’s quick and eager response to his order than Alec had been. Alec blushed a bit and looked up at him, his eyes getting clouded with desire.

You look so pretty like that,” Jace told him, his voice almost tender as he stroked his cheek softly.

“Jace,” Alec got out, his voice hoarse and filled with need, unsure what to do.

Jace saw his uncertainty and took a firm grip on the hair in his neck, pulling his head back so he was looking up at him. Alec hissed a bit at the pain but felt his arousal grow at this display of Jace’s power and how much he wanted him. He had never felt good enough for Jace but now he didn’t need to feel good enough; he just had to do what Jace wanted. That he could do.

“If you want me to stop you say red, slow down is yellow. And if you have your mouth full you tap once for red and twice for yellow. Got it?” Jace told him seriously.

Alec was a bit confused why he would need any of that and wanted to know why he might have his mouth full but tried to nod only to find Jace was holding his hair too firmly to allow it, forcing him to speak instead.

“Yes but….” Alec agreed, still a bit confused but then stopped speaking when Jace unzipped his pants and pulled out his half hard cock.

He was aware he was staring and Jace was aware of it too as he stroked himself lazily, an arrogant look in his eyes. He had never seen Jace erect before; he was bigger than he thought. He licked his lips and suddenly understood the comment on having his mouth full. He had dreamt of precisely this; sucking Jace off on his knees. He wondered if he should ask for it although he was pretty certain his staring and the hungry look in his eyes didn’t leave Jace in doubt what he wanted.

“Now open wide and do something useful with that mouth of yours,” Jace demanded, his eyes reflecting warmth and teasing as he used his hand on Alec’s neck to pull him closer to his cock.

There was a hint of laughter in Jace’s voice as he indeed could see his order was unnecessary as Alec was already eagerly moving closer to him on his knees. Alec enthusiastically took him all the way down and then went back up, Jace’s hand on his neck a guide more than a force. He hadn’t done this often; Magnus and him hadn’t been together long enough to have tried a lot of sexual activities together but he had done it a few times before so he tried to use all the tricks he had learned. He sucked and licked and used one hand on Jace’s thigh for support while using the other to alternate between holding and stroking Jace’s cock and fondling his balls, trying to gauge from Jace’s reactions what he liked and adopt his activities thereafter.

“Fuck!” Jace got out when Alec managed to take him so deep he hit the back of his throat.

Tears came to Alec’s eyes and he had to pull off for a moment as he coughed but then went right back in, taking him hungrily, eagerly, just as deep once again.

“So good,” Alec mumbled keenly when he pulled off for a moment, his voice sounding rasped and wrecked from the abuse he was doing to his threat only to take him in deep once again.

Jace moaned as he heard how Alec sounded, that alone made his cock start to leak precome; damn, Alec was so hot like this, on his knees before him, eagerly sucking him. Jace tightened his grip in Alec’s hair to have something to hold onto as he started to thrust in and out of Alec’s mouth, faster and faster, when he discovered Alec could take it and eagerly did so.

“If I had known you were so good at sucking cock I would have done this ages ago,” Jace got out, feeling his orgasm quickly approaching.

“Yes,” Alec mumbled in agreement as he pulled off for a moment before licking and sucking at the tip and down the slit, making Jace moan with pleasure.

“Do you want me to come down your throat or on your face?” Jace got out when Alec started to go deep again, speeding up his movements, feeling he was close.

For someone on their knees eagerly sucking someone’s cock Jace was surprised to see his words made Alec blush and he just kept sucking him, not responding. Jace used the grip he had in Alec’s hair to forcefully pull him off his cock, making Alec give him a confused, slightly hurt look, wiping some spit from his mouth as he looked up at him.

“Alec, answer me!” Jace demanded more forcefully.

“On….on me,” Alec forced himself to say, blushing beet red at being made to say it although doing so made his own desire increase.

“On you what?” Jace insisted, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Please?” Alec offered sweetly, unsure if that was the word he wanted but hoped so. It was easier for him to say that than if Jace wanted him to add more details on his request.

Jace gave him a satisfied smile as he stroked his cheek.

“Much better. You are so beautiful when you beg,” Jace told him in a heated voice.

Alec almost moaned at the praise, letting it wash over him, feeling how it heightened his arousal.

“Fuck, Jace,” Alec mumbled, unsure why he would react like that but he loved to know he pleased Jace; it made him feel better about himself and more secure in what they were doing, as if he did it right Jace might not leave him like Magnus had done. Maybe he wouldn’t fuck this up then.

“Don’t worry; we will get to that too,” Jace promised with a smirk.

Alec would have shaken his head at him if Jace hadn’t been fisting his hair.

“Arrogant prick,” Alec mumbled instead with no small amount of fondness because that was precisely one of the reasons he had fallen in love with him to start with.

Jace grinned as he admitted, “Always.”

Then he sobered as he pushed Alec back onto his cock, “Now, back to work!”

Alec eagerly went back to sucking him and it didn’t take long before Jace was moaning and had to pull him back, feeling he was close. Alec looked up at him with lustfilled eyes as Jace kept one hand in his hair and started to pump himself quickly with the other.

“By the angel! So good! You look so good like that; all needy and wrecked,” Jace got out as he moved his hand quicker and quicker, his desire increasing with his own words.

Alec licked his lips and leaned closer, opening his mouth a little, looking keen and oh so eager to please. The sight made Jace moan and come explosively.

“Fuck, yes!” Jace grunted as he came, his eyes darkening when he saw Alec swallow what he could catch.

“You are perfection,” Jace got out, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the naked worship in Alec’s expression when he looked up at him as he bashed in his own afterglow.

“Thank you,” Alec said shyly, almost seeming to glow from the praise alone.

“You look so pretty like this, covered in me,” Jace told him and moaned when Alec took a hand to wipe his face before he licked his fingers clean.

Jace instinctively activated his runes, his eyes lightening up golden and his post orgasm haze lifted at once. Alec looked up at him with huge eyes filled with desire and that look made Jace’s own desire reawaken, getting hard again thanks to the use of his runes.

“Fuck me,” Alec said huskily, blushing a bit at his own words. Before Jace had time to respond Alec added eagerly, his own arousal and need making the words easy despite his embarrassment at saying them, “Please. Please fuck me.”

“How can anyone say no to that?” Jace said, laughing, his own desire increasing at just hearing Alec beg for it.

Alec smiled at that but then looked a bit uncertain, not sure what he should do with himself.

“Go on; get naked and get on the bed,” Jace ordered, his voice soft and eager as he stroked his cheek tenderly before taking a step back, pulling his own shirt off.

“Yes,” Alec agreed, happy to have a plan for how to proceed with this; it made it easier.

Alec rose and couldn’t help but admire Jace’s naked muscular chest for a moment before forcing his eyes away as he quickly pulled off his own shirt and then his shoes, socks and pants. He hesitated for a moment when he was naked except his boxers.

Jace notished his uncertainty and came over to him.

“Alec, you look beautiful,” Jace assured him, his breath hot against his skin and his voice a soft whisper in his ear.

Alec moaned softly as he felt Jace’s naked body pressed firmly against his own, his erection pressed against his ass. Alec turned around and saw Jace was fully naked, smiling at him, unashamedly admiring his body as he looked at him.

“You are….” Alec got out in awe and admiration, enjoying being able to actually look _look_ at Jace like this for the first time ever.

“I’m what?” Jace asked with a teasing air, enjoying the attention and adoration to the fullest.

“Built like a Greek God,” Alec blurted out the first thing on his mind, the first thing he thought of.

Alec gave Jace a horrified look when he realized he had said that aloud and put both hands over his mouth in horror.

“How I ever lived without you in my life like this I will never understand,” Jace admitted roughly, moved as he put a hand on Alec’s neck and made him move closer to him.

Alec put his arms around Jace's neck as he was pulled into a hard and possessive kiss, his embarrassment forgotten in the heat of the moment.

When they drew apart Alec looked dazed but happy, smiling lopsided at him.

“Go on,” Jace said with a grin, nodding towards the bed and Alec quickly, eagerly stepped out of his boxers, his feeling of awkwardness forgotten in his eagerness and crawled onto the bed.

“Do you have lube?” Jace asked, going to the beside table as he thought that would be the most likely place to keep it.

“Top drawer,” Alec told him, nodding to the top drawer of the bedside table.

Jace found it and went to stand by the foot of the bed and Alec raised himself up a bit on all fours, blushing as he looked back at Jace, eager for him to do something. Jace simply stood and admired the sight before him for a few seconds before he went on the bed and stroked Alec’s ass tenderly, almost making him jump in excitement and surprise at the sudden touch.

“Good boy,” Jace praised and he could tell from the shiver that ran through Alec how much his words meant to him as he felt him relax under his touch.

Because he was a bit of a bastard and half drunk off the power Alec was so easily and eagerly bestowing on him Jace slapped Alec’s right asscheek lightly but hard enough for Alec to jump a bit.

“What do you say when someone praises you?” Jace teased.

“Thank you,” Alec got out, ready to say anything if it would make Jace do something.

His eyes were dark when he looked back at Jace, shifting his weight at bit to get some friction on his hard cock and wiggling his ass a little in the hope Jace would do something; anything, certain he would explore from the sexual tension if Jace didn't do something soon.

“Oh, you are good!” Jace praised warmly and stroked his cheek, making Alec blush but smile at his words.

“Thank you,” Alec repeated and when Jace traced his lips with a finger Alec gave him a playful and lustful look as he started to lick at his finger.

The sensual movement was not lost on Jace who felt himself harden further at seeing Alec lick and suck at his finger, making him add two more which Alec eagerly took in his mouth as well.

“Oh, yeah. Keep doing that,” Jace got out, mesmerized by seeing how his fingers went in and out of his parabatai’s mouth.

Having licked and sucked thorough on three of Jace’s fingers Alec pulled his head back to beg, his eyes dark and his voice thick with desire, “Please.”

“Please what or do you just love to beg in general?” Jace teased as he pulled his hand back.

“Please, f…..Shit!” Alec got out when Jace pushed a single wet digit inside of him without warning, taking his breath from him.

Alec moaned as Jace started to move the finger in and out, fighting to not be too loud about it; Jace had barely done anything yet and he felt like he could come from this alone.

“Let me hear you. Let me know how much you love this,” Jace demanded as he added a second wet finger, stretching him as he kept moving his fingers in and out.

“Please, please,” Alec babbled, not sure what else to say but just wanting, needing him inside; now.

“You like it?” Jace asked as he added a third finger, careful to take his time to stretch him properly despite how eager they both were.

“Yes, yes!” Alec said enthusiastically, pushing back on his fingers, nodding to emphasize his words.

“What do you want, parabatai?” Jace asked hoarsely, wanting to hear him say it again.

“Please, please fuck me, please,” Alec begged, not caring what he sounded like, just wanting Jace to get on with it already.

Jace almost moaned, his arousal increasing exponentially from those words alone.

“I have never been with anyone who has wanted me as much as you do. I didn’t know it would be such a huge turn-on,” Jace confessed in a voice filled with hunger as he removed his fingers.

“Please,” Alec repeated in a needy voice in the hopes it would make Jace get there faster.

“You sound so amazing when you are begging for me, you know that?” Jace mumbled in a heated voice as he positioned himself at his opening.

Before Alec could even consider responding, not that he had much brain power left to say much at this point, Jace warned, “Brace yourself,” before he started to push in.

Alec quickly lost patience with Jace's slow entrance and pushed back, ignoring the burn as he relished the feeling of finally having Jace inside of him, of being connected to him in this way. When Jace was fully inside of him, it was like this complete connection between them changed everything. The parabatai bond opened up between them and they drowned in each other’s echoed desire and lust, every sensation increased and magnified. It was so intense they both almost came from that alone.

“Fuck! Yes! Yes! More! Please!” Alec mumbled feverishly and pushed back against Jace when he pulled back, wanting him back inside of himself, the experience of having Jace in this way making him feel full and complete in a way he had never felt before.

“Fuck! So tight!” Jace got out in wonder as he started to move, going all the way out and then all the way back in, hitting Alec’s prostate as he pushed in again, sending shivers of desire through him. Seeing his reaction Jace did it again and again, hitting just that spot inside of him on each thrust.

“Please, more, harder, please!” Alec got out, feeling himself getting close, his hands fisting the bedsheets and his cock hard and leaking.

“Yes! Fuck!” Jace got out as he used his hands on Alec’s hips to increase his speed and the power of his thrusts.

“Yes, yes!” Alec screamed, getting lost in the sea of sensations, his own and the echoed sensations from Jace.

“So good, so good for me,” Jace mumbled, smiling when he saw Alec shiver in pleasure from his praise.

“Please, I am close,” Alec warned, moaning when Jace pushed back inside and hit his prostate, making waves of pleasure run through him, the sensations heightened by the echoed sensations he could feel from Jace, ensuring he didn't even need to touch him, on the edge by the overwhelming feelings and sensations of the moment. 

“Not till I say so! Understand?” Jace demanded, his voice harsh from arousal and holding himself back, wanting to prolong their pleasure.

“Yes. Fuck!” Alec got out, drowning in pleasure, fighting to hang on.

“By the Angel, yes!” Jace cried as he increased his thrusts, feeling his orgasm building, the feel of Alec around him, so tight and hot, feeling his echoed desire…it was the most amazing feeling he had ever felt.

“Please…I…I need….Jace,” Alec managed to get out, each word paused when Jace thrust into him, making Alec fight to hang on, the pleasure overwhelming.

“Surely you can beg prettier than that,” Jace demanded, teasing, his voice rough from arousal, holding back now only thanks to having activated his runes, his eyes golden.

“Fuck it, Jace!” Alec whined in frustration, tears starting to come to his eyes in his need to come, as he fought to hold back.

“That’s not begging, parabatai,” Jace reminded him as he pulled out only to push forcefully back in, hitting his prostate and sending waves of pleasure through Alec’s body.

“Please! Please!” Alec all but screamed, way past the point of being ready to do anything.

“What do you need? I want to hear you say it,” Jace demanded as he pulled out only to push forcefully back in.

“Shit! Fuck! Please, Please…” Alec got out, his eyes rolling to the back of his head at each thrust, his cock leaking precome, clinging to the edge and so close to stumbling over, only held back by sheer will, his inherit desire to do what Jace asked him to, to do what would bring Jace most pleasure.

“Please…let me come,” Alec got out, almost sobbing now.

“Now, that wasn’t so hard, now was it?” Jace got out, his own arousal increasing from hearing Alec beg like that, his voice rough with need as he pulled out and then pumped back into him.

“Fuck! Please! I said it, please….please let me,” Alec pleaded, his whole body shaking with the need to let go, everything else forgotten but this.

“Now! Come with me now, parabatai!” Jace ordered harshly as he thrust back inside of him and came deep inside of him.

“Fuck!” Alec yelled aloud as he came explosively, feeling black dots appear before his eyes from the intensity of his orgasm.

Their combined orgasms, appearing at the same time, seemed to set off a firework of epic proportions inside their souls, making a blinding light sweep over them, engulf them, connect them, bind them together completely. In that one moment they were truly one soul and one body. Alec felt as if he was inside of Jace, in mind, soul and body and Jace inside of Alec. There was a stain of darkness on Jace’s soul, a pull. However, as soon as Alec’s soul touched it the darkness crumbled and faded, sent back to where it came from by the light of Alec's love and affection for his parabatai.

The implications of that, the intensity of their connection, threatened to overwhelm them both. Thanks to his pure Angel blood Jace managed to fight off the edges of darkness around his vision whereas Alec was lost for a moment, floating, his soul and body intertwined with Jace’s completely and unreservedly.

The next thing Alec really registered was being snuggled against Jace’s chest, feeling drained and spent but happy, as if his whole soul had been touched by grace.

“That was amazing. You were amazing,” Jace said lovingly, warmly, as he kissed the top of Alec’s head affectionately.

“Hmmm,” Alec managed to get out, a silly smile on his face, feeling drunk, endorphins making him high and floaty.

“Do you need something?” Jace asked softly, hugging him tight.

“Water,” Alec got out, feeling how dry his throat was.

Alec made a noise of protest when Jace moved him gently off his body and got out of bed.

“Two seconds. I will be right back,” Jace assured him, kissing his nearest hand tenderly and smiling at him.

Alec smiled back, blushing a bit at the romantic gesture as Jace went to the bathroom. He found a washcloth and cleaned himself up and then found a fresh one and went to the bedroom. He cleaned up Alec as best as he could without making him move too much. Afterwards he threw the cloth into the sink in the bathroom and filled a glass in the bathroom with water and went to the bed. Jace sat on the edge of the bed and took a hand under Alec’s head and guided the glass to his lips.

“Here, let me help you,” Jace said tenderly and Alec happily did, too spent to do anything else, quickly finishing the water.

“If you activate my runes…” Alec suggested as he leaned back against the pillow, wondering what had happened in their parabatai bond to make him feel this drained. Happy and satisfied but drained. A bit like he had just been in a huge battle.

“I like caring for you,” Jace assured him as he put the empty glass on the bedside table.

“Thank you,” Alec said with a smile.

“Come here,” Jace said lovingly as he got back into bed and pulled the covers over them before he gathered Alec in a warm embrace, guiding his head to lay on his shoulder again.

Alec debated if he should say what he felt but he was sure Jace had felt his feelings through the bond when they had had sex and even more when they had come; there had been no way to hide anything during that moment.

“I love you but you know that. You always knew that,” Alec said softly as he drew invisible patterns on Jace’s chest. He had felt Jace loved him too when they had been connected so completely before but he just wasn’t sure in what way he loved him.

“Yes, I did,” Jace acknowledged as he kissed the top of his head.

Alec raised his head to look at him as he added with a slight blush, “I think everyone did.”

“Maybe,” Jace admitted before he added seriously, heartfelt, “but then I want you to be the first to hear it from me.”

Alec almost stopped breathing in hope and anticipation.

“Hear what?” Alec asked, his voice soft and hoarse.

“I love you, Alec. I truly deeply fully love you,” Jace told him seriously.

“Yes but not like that,” Alec added for him, looking down, knowing it would be the next thing he would tell him, feeling the familiar pain at knowing it but he could just as well be the one to say it.

Jace put a hand on Alec's chin and tipped his head up so he was looking him in the eyes again. Alec was almost blown away by the tenderness and love he could read in Jace’s face.

“Precisely like that,” Jace insisted.

“Why?” Alec asked dumbstruck, unable to truly believe it.

“Because you fit with me. We fit together. I just now realized how much,” Jace told him seriously. Then his expression softened as he said lovingly, stroking his cheek with the hand he had had on his chin, “You told me earlier that when you felt you had to defend me when people thought I was Valentine’s son that people throw rocks at things that shine. I am not blind; I know people have talked horribly about you and to you and in particularly after you came out.”

“It’s fine,” Alec mumbled, blushing, not sure where he was going with this.

“Alec, you are the thing that shines! You are a star in my life and always have been,” Jace insisted, his voice warm and loving and as soft as a caress.

Alec blushed, overwhelmed with joy at hearing this as he got out, “Thank you.”

“Being with me… I fear it might mean you have to suffer the same,” Alec added regretfully.

“I am a Herondale so no, I don’t see anyone daring to do that and from now on I will make sure that no one will touch you either,” Jace assured him strongly, a vow and a promise in his voice. “There are no longer any laws against parabatai being together and you coming out made it clear others could too.”

“That would be…amazing,” Alec said in a dreamy voice, still feeling drained and tired but a soft smile was on his lips.

“You don’t have to worry, sweetheart. I will protect you from now on. You don’t have to suffer alone nor do you need to defend me,” Jace went on in an affectionate but strong tone.

“Sweetheart?” Alec asked with a raised eyebrow but he was smiling widely at the endearment.

Jace shrugged, “You don’t like it?”

Alec considered it but then nodded, “I do.”

It felt like a Jace nickname and it was one of few endearments Magnus had never used for him. It felt right. It felt like them.

“Good. Sweetheart then,” Jace said with a fond look as he kissed him tenderly.

“Did you feel that darkness within yourself as well?” Alec asked as he laid his head back on his shoulder.

Jace nodded, “Yes and being with you…it has been banished forever. I felt you doing that,” Jace told him lovingly.

“I think us being together like this, fully…” Alec started to say thoughtfully.

*I think it might have given us powers in some way. Magic. Angelic magic,* Alec thought.

Jace nodded, “I think so too.”

“Hmm, yes, I…” Alec started to say but then he raised his head to give Jace a surprised look. “Wait! Did you hear that?”

“Of course I did!” Jace replied a bit puzzled.

*Why wouldn’t I?* Jace thought.

“Because I thought it; I didn’t say it,” Alec told him.

“No, you…,” Jace started to protest but as he thought back over their conversation he realized Alec was right. “Oh, yes,” Jace said and then went on thoughtfully, “I guess this is the kind of power they didn’t want parabatai to have in the past as most parabatai pairings are same-sex.”

*Wow…that’s amazing,* Alec thought in awe and wonder. *Imagine the advantage this gives us. In combat and otherwise, to be able to communicate like this across distances.*

“Yes, it is amazing and yes it is a huge advantage in battle and otherwise,” Jace confirmed with a smile, just as awed as Alec that he could hear his thoughts.

“You are ok with this?” Alec asked aloud, a bit worried.

“A mental bond with you?” Jace asked and Alec nodded. “Yes,” Jace assured him and Alec visibly relaxed. “Are you?”

* I am never alone. Ever again,* Alec thought joyfully.

*Never, my love. Never,* Jace confirmed in his mind and heart, smiling widely at him.

“Yes, I am more than fine with it,” Alec said aloud with a warm smile.

*You are mine, completely and fully. All parts of you are mine,* Jace thought possessively, happily.

“Yes, all yours,” Alec answered warmly, happily, Jace’s thoughts reaching him easily. He opened the bond between them and let Jace feel his love, let it wash over him, overjoyed he could finally show him how much he loved him, how much he had always loved him.

*Always and forever,* Alec confirmed in his mind.

Jace smiled happily as he kissed him again, the kiss promising a tomorrow filled with love and happiness.

“I love you, Alec,” Jace told him seriously, warmly, opening the bond on his end as well and let Alec feel his love and his care, letting it wash over him in waves.

*Till the end of time,* Jace vowed solemnly.

“I love you too, Jace. I always have and I always will,” Alec told him with love and affection in his voice, the words a vow and a promise.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms, together now and forever, the way it was meant to be. One soul in two bodies, connected in all ways, two hearts beating as one but divided into two. This was love; this was completion. Ying and Yang, black and white. They were two halves of a whole, finally together like two pieces of a broken necklace that had been put together the right way. Finally united and together the way they had always been destined to be and together; they were unstoppable!

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this you might also like:  
> Fall Into Me (Jalec): https://archiveofourown.org/works/23212753  
> Loving Alexander (Malace): https://archiveofourown.org/series/1568293
> 
> Kudos and feedback would mean so much to me! Having had meaningful conversations with the dog and cat for some days now my next option is talking to the plants and I would so much rather talk to YOU so if you liked this please do leave kudos and a comment. :)


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